the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
