I want to make a zoo with you.
he thought i was a dude.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
