Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
