do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
