You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize