i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
