singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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