Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
