Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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