You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
