Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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