So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
