Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
