ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
