She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
