dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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