I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
