We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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