It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They have beer where we have blood.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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