You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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