somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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