There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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