She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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