Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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