i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
