tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
