Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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