If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
