You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize