I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
there is puke in my bra ... again
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