I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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