stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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