I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
