apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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