you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
