How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
her vagine was all disorganized.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize