He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
