My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
