WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
