like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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