do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize