You made me cry and you don't even care
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Randomize
