There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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