i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
