just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
