dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They took my balls.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
