what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
