this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
