I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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