I want to have your abortion
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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