did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
