My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
