apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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