Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
