I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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