You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
