No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
