What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
