Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
