ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
