I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
