Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Randomize
